me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours

camembertlylegal:

deadlydinos:

Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”

"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"

Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock

I bet that is the happiest dog

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)



plaidandredlipstick:

the reason male comic book fans work themselves into a frenzied rage over “fake geek girls" is because they think they can’t get a girlfriend because of their love for comic books (a.k.a nerdiness). if they accept that geek girls genuinely love comic books, then they’re left with the cold harsh reality that it’s not their nerdiness that makes them unattractive to women, but the fact that they are misogynistic condescending dickbags who need to be avoided AT ALL COSTS

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)


liquar:

takethesanity:

squidwurd:

main goals when going to a friends house:
-pet dog
-avoid parent
-don’t clog toilet

+ obtain wifi password

- try not to die of thirst when they don’t offer you water

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)


stmungos:

theshipqueen:

friend: you speak french?
me: yeah
friend: say something in french!
me: je suis venu ici pour passer un bon moment et je suis honnêtement sentir si attaqué dès maintenant

image

(via superawkwardok)


he-was-number-wan:

Chowder is old enough to be on Boomerang guess it’s time to join AARP and replace everything in my diet with prunes

he-was-number-wan:

Chowder is old enough to be on Boomerang guess it’s time to join AARP and replace everything in my diet with prunes

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)


jinkies i lost my glasses!
velma in every fucking episode of scooby doo like damn bitch get contacts (via gnarly)

(via superawkwardok)


humpthe-moist-cavewall:

lumos5001:

benedictcumbercake:

inbox:

I’m a teenager why does my back hurt I’m not 70 years old

Boobs.

period cramps

*Mom voice* it’s that damn computer again

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)



sassypotter:

allabitofablur:

ellanarosetw:

theladymonsters:

superbmarksman:

i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies

make a movie.

the movie would be set entirely in the office of one over-worked insurance agent answering phone calls and in the window behind him we see various Super Heroes destroying things

Cast Amy Poehler

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)


hellgated:

karaokeandmime:

dennys:

Some Denny’s booths you enter and enjoy a nice meal, others you enter and travel magnificent distances through space and time….

Denny’s what the hell

hellgated:

karaokeandmime:

dennys:

Some Denny’s booths you enter and enjoy a nice meal, others you enter and travel magnificent distances through space and time….

Denny’s what the hell

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)


aeducanprincess:

ifyoucarryonthisway:

i’ll never get why some people are offended by tattoos im just trying to understand how you could see a flower on someones arm and think WOW I’M REALLY ANGRY AND DISTURBED 

I don’t know if this person can do job they have flower on arm and I am worry

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)


wedidthetimewarpagain:

she wears short skirts

i wear nothing because i am the disembodied incorporeal form

she’s a flapper

i am the eyes of T. J. Eckelburg

(via angelic-demonkillingtimelady)